Let me give you a little insight as to how I dealt with this phone issue over the past couple of days. I convinced myself the skank got a new phone number, that he was hiding her contact from me and then I ended up picking a fight with him over something small and not relevant to the true issue. Because of my ‘irrational’ behavior, he didn’t notice my attempting to look at his phone.
I don’t do well with waiting. Patience is not one of my virtues. After thinking about things all morning, I decided not to wait and would confront my husband when he came home for a late breakfast.
He dropped the kids off at school this morning and went in early to the office. I did some cleaning, ran a few errands, and returned around noon. He came home shortly after. I told him I needed to apologize for arguing with him and that I had been triggered. I said I had gone online on Friday night to check on Mark’s texts and saw one of his as well with the 439 number. I asked him point blank if the skank got a new number. He said no, she hasn’t contacted him and stated “I told you I would tell you if she did.” (good sign).
I admitted to him that I got it in my head it was either her or a friend of hers after seeing the 439 number and figured he would tell me on Saturday when we were alone together, but he didn’t, so by Sunday morning, I was really ruminating about it. I said I felt like he was lying by omission, and that maybe she meant more to him than he has admitted if he was trying to keep up their ‘friendship.’ At this point he started laughing at the fact I had already decided the number had to do with the skank.
During this conversation I told him I had a hard time dealing with the fact she hasn’t reached out since July. Dripping with sarcasm, I informed him her life sucked and I couldn’t believe she didn’t attempt to cry on his shoulder. He asked what I meant and I told him her kids moved to Florida. I got the look. “You’re not still checking her Facebook are you?” I said, “No, I told you I blocked her. I looked on her ex-husband’s page. It’s public.” I got the look again.
He stated, “You enjoy her pain”. (ya think?) “And you’re right. She probably will reach out, she’s probably miserable. Maybe she’ll move to Florida too.”
“One can only hope. Her father is there, her brother is there and now her kids. One big happy family, all in the same place. And her mother is in Arizona. She’s all. by. herself. Living across the street from her ex-husband. Boo hoo hoo.”
“She can’t stand her father.”
“Oh really? I guess she liked him when he paid for her cruise that he went on with her when she met the short, fat Swedish homuncular with the French beret. Oh, and her cell phone is registered to him.”
“How do you know that?”
“I’m very thorough… And she’s living across the street from her ex with him prancing his new girlfriend around. Before I blocked her, she commented on one of his posts to get some blinds.”
“Yeah, I don’t get that. But she said she can’t see his house from her house.”
“She lied Einstein. Why would she comment to him to get blinds then?”
He then informed me who it was that called on Friday, a client, again saying he knows how important it is for him to disclose if the skank contacts him.
And that was that.
Post D-day, I will admit my suspicions get the best of me at times, turning a formerly normal situation into a secret tryst with the skank. It has not happened like this for many months, I can’t even remember the last time, which surprised me a bit. Infidelity. Ugh…
My husband has put in the hard work to repair us. Consequently, at this point, it would be truly disappointing if he would have sabotaged our progress by not divulging contact. He understood my emotions while at the same time was almost amused that I had spun this story in my head, believed it for two days and didn’t mention it to him. I reminded him it was the weekend and on Saturday, when we had some time alone I was waiting for him to confess. (Of course he had nothing to confess). He was a little annoyed on Sunday as he said he didn’t get why I was at him over seemingly nothing. “Please just say something if it happens again and don’t let it build up.”
Unfortunately, when these triggers occur, it’s not always so easy to just put them aside. I told him I had been doing well, but once in a while it is really hard to dismiss the suspicions, even though the rational part of me knows deep down that they are unfounded…